Dan Bucatinsky found he and his partner inadvertently sucked into a strange Playdate Affirmative Action Program.
Our new friends, the other couple, turned to one another and gave each other some kind of signal to go ahead and ask us what had clearly been on their mind from the moment they invited us for a family-playdate-brunch. They asked us how we went about becoming a family. They were embarrassed, but beyond curious about the mechanics of adoption vs. surrogacy. They wanted to know why we felt okay about raising kids who had no genetic ties to us. They wanted to know all about our birth mom. They wanted to know everything. I was happy to educate them on anything and everything. I’ve always been of the mind that honesty and openness and pride about who I am and how I became a family only helps open the minds and hearts of others. Yeah, well… not always.
After we had given them a complete history of how we had become parents, they complimented us on our honesty and our commitment. They were proud to know us, they said. They thought it was “good for their family” to have friends like us. They wanted their kids to see that the world is made up of all kinds of people – and that children can have parents that come in all different shapes, sizes and genders as long as they love them. We were their “gay dad friends” and they loved us.
As we were heading for our cars, one of them turned to me casually and asked a favor:
“Oh look… I meant to ask you this earlier,” he said casually. “You guys don’t ever, you know, kiss — in front of the kids, do you? Not like, by accident or when you didn’t realize they were there… but like, if they’re having a playdate or anything — you guys don’t strike me as the types who are into PDA?”
Yeah, we’re glad to know you, as long as you don’t act like any other couple that we know.