Matt Duron is the husband of Raising my Rainbow blogger, Lori Duron and father to their son C.J. a gender nonconforming boy. C.J. loves things sparkly, sassy, the color pink and often chooses to dress in clothes that would be typically be termed ‘girl clothes.’ This includes skirts and dresses. Matt has some advice for those father’s who may be not as accepting of their gender nonconforming son’s as he.
From Matt’s op-ed in The Atlantic:
My close friends know. And I know that they are my close friends because they don’t give a shit. They don’t care what toys my son likes or how he chooses to dress. They just care that he is happy and healthy and that I’m being a good dad.
I’ve slipped at times and told some of the other guys in my life.
“Man, how do you deal with that? I couldn’t do it. Not in my house,” they’ve said.
What does all of that mean? You couldn’t parent a kid like mine? You’d be his first bully and “make him a man?” To me, that makes you less of a man. Much of the time when I confront such people they immediately begin to backpedal and try to move on. I’m not afraid of this discussion and many don’t choose to argue with me or defend their position.
To me, loving a child who is different, a target and seen as vulnerable is my role as a father and decent human being. He’s just as special to me and loved by me as my oldest son, whose most prized possession is a pocketknife, who plays football, likes fart jokes, and is starting to notice girls.
What an amazing and mature dad, Matt is to recognize that his son needs love no matter what he wears.
What does it really say about us as a society when we are fine with girls not wearing dresses, but we have a big problem with boys that do? Does how you dress really make your intelligence and ability any less? We seem to associate dresses with weaker, no matter which sex is wearing them.