When we think of concerns about contracting HIV, we often focus more on the worries of the HIV negative person. But, as Brendan Shucart shows us in his opinion piece for The Advocate, those concerns are something on the mind of the HIV positive person, too:
In some ways, getting rejected by you is the easier course. Whether you politely tell me that you just aren’t comfortable dating a guy with HIV, or excuse yourself to use the bathroom and never come back, after we part ways it’s over, and I never have to think about you again. It is when your mental math ends in a smile and a willingness to take things further that it starts to get complicated.
Complicated because at this point you and I have shared some awesome times, and you have proven yourself to be either well-educated or brave enough to see past my serostatus and take a chance on a guy living with HIV. Complicated because I have a thing for interesting, brave, well-educated guys who like beer and moonlit walks, and by now I’m probably starting to crush on you. Complicated because at some point in the near future, you and I are going to be naked together and I am going to come face to face with my greatest fear. (No, not clowns, you kinkster.)
My greatest fear is that I am going to give you HIV. In fact, I am just as afraid of passing along my virus as you are of contracting it. And that is true for most of the HIV-positive guys I know.