Every now an again their is a worry in the community that gay bars are going to be extinct thanks to the convenience of gay social apps for your phone like Grindr, Scruff and Guy Spy. But a YouTube video gives a good summary of us why that’s not going to be true.
This isn’t the first article, meme or commentary that we have seen on gay apps and they all say pretty much the same thing: gay guys are insensitive on gay apps; you never know if what you see is going be what you get; why does this guy have no face in the age of digital photography (my personal favorite); and the monoresponse. All of these point to something that I think many people would agree on, meeting in person is better.
The fact that we are making fun of the “etiquette” of gay apps and doing it so frequently shows that we like our gay places and spaces. When was the last time you say a meme making fun of gay bar etiquette or the culture of one of those theme weekends or gay resorts? No matter how easy it may be to hit the app on your phone to connect, we all know that those connections are riddled with pitfalls.
In addition to those listed above, there’s the added effort that you have to put into a technological meet up. You open your app and pretty much have to stare at your screen; waiting for a response from the person that you contacted. For the tech advancement of it all, it still leaves us with that age old meme of sitting by the phone waiting for it to ‘ring’.
There’s also the chance that your app connection will stand you up because he couldn’t find your place; didn’t really want to go out; got off during your hot text chat, leaving you just sitting around waiting.
Distance is an issue with apps. Your on your app because your lazy. You’d like to “order in” or at least run out the closes available place for your “necessities.” It may be inconvenient to go however many miles away for your meet up. In a gay space everyone is less than 250 feet away from you.
Safety can be a problem as well. You never really know if the person on the other end is a real weirdo, so, it’s best to meet up in public. But if we’re going to do that, why not just go to public gay place to begin with. At least in the latter scenario you can do as my friend once did. Bring your hook up to your friends, the bartender, an acquaintance, the coat check guy and tell them ‘I’m headed home with him, so, if I wind up chopped up in little pieces, remember this face for the police sketch artist.’
In my discussion with friends, I found that the success rate; a real success rate of having the encounter go like you thought it would is around 30%. My success rate in person is much more consistent; like in the 90th percentile.
Meeting people in gay places and spaces is much more of a sure thing and much less of a time waster. There’s no false advertising; you know if you have chemistry or not; and even if you don’t wind up going to his place or yours, if you click, at minimum, you’ll be ending your night with some kissing.